Tragedy + Time...

Help us, comedy, you're our only hope!

Hello, fellow hoomans.

I’ve been working on an essay about my history of “making a living” in this ridiculous world and it is a tale of woes. I plan on finishing it but I’m at a woe low. I need to not do the woes right now. A chance at some affordable housing came calling and the timing couldn’t be more crucial. In California, it’s a miracle moment. Where I’m living now has become untenable financially. Rent is going to be late, or partial at best come January. If the subsidized housing comes through, it will be a rough transition but I’ll emerge intact. The screening for the housing is brutally invasive though and I could burn the $250.00 I’ve put down as a partial security deposit and to process a background check if they ultimately decide I’m not worthy.

If it falls apart, I still have to move by February. Not being sure about housing is…fun? I have emergency contingencies available, so living out of my car, down by the river is not an eminent threat.

But thank the honky sky god that the GDP and stock prices are up, right? Whatever the fuck that means.

Anyway, let’s get to the jokes.

Laughing In the Dark, at the Dark

Do we even wait for time to pass to make the jokes now? I honestly don’t know. What even is time now? It doesn’t flow the same anymore.

I started a coping strategy back in 2020 to deal with the dark, surreally stupid times we are in. It’s a shitshow bingo card. Above, is a blank one for 2024. It prints out big on a 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper, so you can handwrite your guesses. Or you can use a text editor to add you guesses on the computer and then print it out.

If you’re into it. I’m a weirdo, so I get if you think this is dumb or darkly inappropriate. This is how I do, koo koo kachoo.

What to put in the boxes? Be serious, Nostradamusly specific? Eh, maybe you feel like current events need no further prodding towards the infernal. Good call. Be ridiculous? That’s my angle. Bad, and impossibly weird shit, but chaotically amusing. Or, you could fill it with crazy good stuff, miracles even. Like a circle of protection. Yeah. Go dark, go light. Go weird. Sky’s the limit. Anywhichway. No one needs to know but you. Go for a ride!

Here’s my picks for 2020 and 2022. Be warned, 2020 is fucked up. I eased up for 2022. Not sure why, but I didn’t do one for 2021 or 2023. Maybe I don’t like odd numbers. Maybe it’s a rhyme thing.

And hey, if you’re SUPER into it, share your imaginings. We’ll compare notes. But if you are repulsed by this messed-up coping mechanism, I get it. These times are a lot.

2024 is gonna be a helluva year, and I’m kinda the 5th horseman.

Always hoping for the best,

—C